While this site is more about the “why” of BDSM, and less about the “how,” the how is the fun part, and always interesting to read about. Here are some thoughts and resources on how BDSM plays out in the bedroom.
In the first years of our D/s relationship, my Daddy Dom husband and I gave scant attention to the concept of aftercare, no matter how kinky we got in the bedroom. Yes, we constantly came across the advice to finish up BDSM play with a period of aftercare, often hearing it described as an “integral” part of a scene. [...]
BDSM offers lots of fun toys and outfits that personify its sexual edginess, and newbies are often drawn to the cool leather outfits and delightfully uncomfortable looking accoutrément. But, the reality is that while the props are titillating, true Domination comes from the inside and has nothing to do with the fantasy-driven consumer products for sale. [...]
My dominant Daddy has added a new step to our across-his-lap spanking ritual every evening. He spanks me, he stirs my pussy with two fingers, and then also slips a finger in my bottom hole and stirs it, too. As he pushes pleasure/pain into my ass, my body soaks it in and absorbs it like a sponge, until all my cells feel full and heavy and still with it. I go into such an altered state that I lose track of time. And I find myself craving for him to penetrate me there near constantly. [...]
I know how a “submissive trigger” feels long before I came across the phrase on the internet. I know being on my knees in front of my husband and taking his cock into my mouth makes me feel surrendered. I know his hand grabbing me by the throat does it. I know him pulling my hair does it, or grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me along like a child, or putting me over his lap. Having him shove my head down against the bed really does it. [...]
It is my dominant Daddy’s habit to push open my legs in the morning, and slide his fingers inside me. We call it “pussy stirring,” the way he swirls his fingers round and round, then thrusting and banging for awhile, until I feel I am getting close to orgasm. Then he pauses and starts again. [...]
After several weeks of stretching myself across my dominant Daddy’s lap for nightly “discipline,” I now have a solid idea of what makes a good spanking. The kind of spanking that works strange magic and turns pain into pleasure. The kind of spanking that releases the right amount of endorphins or dopamine or whatever natural chemicals send me into a sweet trance and make me lose track of time. The kind of spanking that makes me rise up from Daddy’s lap with a red, burning bottom to look at him with adoring eyes. [...]