It is my dominant Daddy’s habit to push open my legs in the morning, and slide his fingers inside me. We call it “pussy stirring,” the way he swirls his fingers round and round, then thrusting and banging for awhile, until I feel I am getting close to orgasm. Then he pauses and starts again ... Sometimes he keeps going for so long that I start to feel my as if he has found the very place my soul is connected to my body, and he’s making it soften to point of dissolving. As his fingers keep stirring and swirling inside me, I feel as if my body is expanding, filling the room, and oh Jesus fuck, it is achingly exquisite. I feel literally caught between heaven and earth, and I am hanging there astonished when an orgasm slams me, lifts me with the power of oceans. Usually the orgasm ends within a lovely rush of seconds. But there have been times it doesn’t end, the orgasmic energy keeps rushing through me in successive waves that hold me suspended for impossibly long minutes.
The first time it happened, after the euphoria wore off, I felt a confusion of panic. I didn’t understand it. It seemed something diabolical had been done to me. Then I cried because it was so intense, and I felt so rearranged. I literally felt different inside my body, as if he had put something in me that possessed me. The feeling lingered for hours, I felt it deep in my belly, running up through me like a shaft of foreign energy.
What is that, I wondered. Did chakras open? Did kundalini arise? How did that happen? I needed to understand, so I dragged out a Tantric DVD that I’d bought months earlier but never got around to watching. It was called “Alchemy, Orgasm and Awakening,” and featured a lecture in which two different teachers give their perspective on the Tantric approach to orgasm. One of the teachers, the famed Charles Muir, was, according to legend, a sexual magician able to bring any woman to ecstasy. He talked awhile about men’s orgasms, and why they shouldn’t ejaculate too often. Then he began talking about women’s orgasms.
There is a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms, and it is good to have both, because erogenous zones need to be awakened. Finding the clitoris is nice, but the energetic access point to the female psyche is inside the vagina, in what is called the yoni nabi. It’s also called the G Spot. I call it the sacred spot — and when it is massaged and stimulated and held consciously, and energy runs through and into it — then her second chakra and her sexual psyche awaken, and a mind body connection happens. There is vast consciousness in that chakra and it needs to be awakened by someone she can trust to hold her heart precious, someone who can touch her and open her ...
I felt enthralled as I watched him speak, because there is certainly a qualitative difference to me in the orgasms I can reach through clitoral stimulation and the orgasms that my dominant Daddy gives me through penetrating me and stirring me with his fingers. I would eventually read that some researchers believe there is not only a G Spot in the vagina, but also an A Spot, the Anterior Fornix, near the cervix, which stimulates the entire network of nerves that make up the clitoral “root” structure. Further exploring — and a number of surprising “ass orgasms” — would eventually lead me to believe that this clitoral nerve structure is a web that stretches around and throughout the entire genital/anal area. And while some women can access it through a particular “spot,” for me it is accessed and stimulated by penetrating me (either in pussy or ass or, better yet, both) with a particular motion and force; namely, stirring and pounding.
An orgasm reached this way is of a different character than the simple release of a clitoral orgasm, as Muir explained:
... For her to open up to them, to give up control, is to plug into the universe, where wave after wave of bliss runs through her. And once a woman is awakened, usually as the result of some kind of sexual healing, she can plug into that energy effortlessly ... That is the nature of the second chakra my sisters, and it is your job to bring it forth. And to break through your conditioning that nice girls don’t, that spiritual women don’t. You do. And bring god into bed with you.
The audience listening to Muir in the room applauded wildly at that, and as I watched, I applauded, too. There it was, a vivid explanation of what had happened to me that morning. And not just that morning, but over the preceding months, my dominant, given free access to my pussy, had been swirling his fingers inside me, opening me, often for 20 or 30 minutes at a time, sometimes even an hour at a time. I’d known there was something healing about it, some kind of physical/soul therapy, that reaching to the core of me, that unlocking of me.
And, just as Muir described, I’d felt a profound change within myself, my whole body came to feel different to me, more alive to me, even more attractive to me. Certainly, my sexual response has heightened, I became able to orgasm more quickly and deeply than ever before. And oh my God, even now, when Daddy’s fingers start stirring me, my connection to him feels like a solid unbreakable rope of hot electrified love, as if his hand is literally plugged into me and who I am, while his energy flows into me. I am completely penetrated by him and his love for me, and taking it all in.
How shocking that I didn’t discover this until my 50s. By most any standard I would have been considered sexually experienced and sexually well-educated. I was no stranger to my G-Spot, have often heard the words “G-Spot” massage, and even “sacred spot massage.” But until we discovered BDSM, I had no clue why a woman might want to submit to pussy-stirring beyond a powerful orgasm. To be touched in that way for sustained periods is clearly meaningful beyond the orgasm. I lie there, legs wide open, my whole self open, while Daddy stirs me, and I am changed.
I now want to shout it from the rooftops so every woman will know what is possible, and so every man will learn the art of pussy-stirring.
I recently stumbled on Charles Muir yet again on another Tantra DVD, recorded decades earlier, in which he provided a detailed instruction and demonstration of “sacred spot massage” on his then wife, Caroline. As he reclined beside her and slid his fingers into her, he asked her, “Did I find it?”
She answered back to him, “You found me. That spot doesn’t feel like an ‘it,’ it feels like me.”
Exactly, oh exactly. That is how I have felt with my Daddy’s fingers inside me, as if he has found the real me. And each time I want to fall at his feet in helpless love for “opening the gate” and setting me free.
Terra Bloom is a happy submissive and a former journalist turned screenwriter who is now focused on positive sexuality through bdsm advocacy. (And yes, Terra Bloom is a pseudonym).